i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
