Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
