brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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