this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.