You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.