I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker