shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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