We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
