And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
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Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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