You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
