So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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