rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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