Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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