I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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