"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
