oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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