Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
