I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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