fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
