She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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