I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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