I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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