Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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