Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
