I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i came on her dog
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
