his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
