I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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