did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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