super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize