You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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