i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
