Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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