My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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