those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
