Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
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He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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