For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
