Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
