i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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