My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
