i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
