Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
