so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
