but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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