my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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