I think I won the penis lottery.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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