If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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