Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
