He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
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The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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