How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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