you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize