so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the day after is always just damage control
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
