i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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