plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
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I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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