this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
