I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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