For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Houston, we have a squirter
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
