Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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