I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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