I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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