I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
