Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
