You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
